Guess who finally has a shower? Aww yeeeeeeeah, we do! This is big. No more going to the gym to get clean. So great.
And we also got our first gnome, which came as a surprise when I checked Peaches’ inventory. His name is Chad because I’m just very original when it comes to naming.
We left the legacy just as Peaches began to puke from ~unknown~ causes. You all know I was way too done with this game to mislead you, so boom, look, there it is. The first generation of the new Creeper legacy is upon us! And it’s only… *checks* week three in Storybrook County. Week friggin’ THREE.
Keith: I can’t TALK RIGHT NOW I’M GOING TO BE A DAD MY TIME HAS COME GOOD DAY
I buy a crib to fit in their little one room house in preparation. I decided this time around that I’m not going to worry too much about decorating. You know, like, making things actually match with the brilliance of customization? Nope. Not gonna care. Any furniture you see will be decorated via dice roll. It’s sorta more fun that way to me. I might change some things, like things that have wood, because I like my woods to match at least. Other than that, let’s see what ugly shit my game can come up with.
As if my game is apologizing, we are granted another gnome, a spouse for our Chad. Its name is Agnes. I know you see what I’m doing here.
It’s winter now. It took all of fall to land a spouse, but now that Keith is OURS and both sims have gotten over their fear of woohoo, things seem to be flowing much better for them. The pair don’t let their tiny house make them feel cramped and sad. Instead, they enjoy the last bit of time they have before it starts to feel even smaller.
Keith: Someday we’ll have actual brick or paneling on the outside of the house, but for now I’m just going to build a snowman to detract from our poverty.
The brick on the inside costs 0 dollars to use – which is why I used it obv. I don’t know why I left the outside blank, there’s really no excuse.
Snowman: Just look at me, don’t look at the ugly house! HI. HELLO.
Chad: YO, YOU AIN’T EVEN GOT ROOM IN THERE FOR THIS SHOWER? WOW. WOOOOOOW. YOU SAD.
Stop judging us! *cries*
While we wait for the new baby, we try some more investigator work. It doesn’t work out too well because the toddlers in this town seem to have it out for Peaches.
Toddler: I’ll give you to the count of three to get out of here, lady. One, two…
Peaches Honeyblossom: On three or after three? I’m not risking it.
We needed to dig through the mailbox AND the trash and I realized the trash can was behind the toddler’s house so we went to dig through that instead. HA. Take that, toddler, I’m marginally smarter than you.
Peaches Honeyblossom: Yes, little puppy, you won’t tell anyone about this, will you? Noooo, because you won’t remember.
I don’t know what that’s laced with, but I promise the dog is fine.
And with the magic of skipping through a lot of boring stomach growing days, it’s time for the new Creeper to be born!
Peaches Honeyblossom: I can’t feel my stomach! It’s like it’s not there or something…
Hooray broken meshes.
Keith races Peaches to the taxi and wins because, you know, she’s with child and can’t run.
Snowman: I will protect the house while you are gone!
Roof: *is not there but means well*
He continues the race at the hospital as if he’s got something to prove.
Keith: HURRY UP I NEED A CHILD
Peaches Honeyblossom: He’s almost an elder. I can remarry when he dies, right?
*gasps* Wowwww, well done! It happened! A child is born unto this dayyyy and this child is named what?
Peaches Honeyblossom: Guess.
Why do you look like it’s a big joke?
Peaches Honeyblossom: Just guess.
*checks celebrity baby name list* I mean, it could be anything.
Peaches Honeyblossom: This is Blue Ivy. Say hi to everyone, Blue Ivy!
Ok you are not Beyoncé.
Peaches Honeyblossom: Oh but yes I am.
Blue Ivy Creeper, everyone. She’s a star.
The real Blue Ivy is the daughter of Beyoncé and Jay-Z. She is neither blue nor made of ivy.
Our Blue Ivy is born with the traits of Clumsy and Perceptive. She likes the color purple. She’s a baby. That about sums her up at the moment.
When we get home, we find that Chad and Agnes have also spawned life. I named the baby Apple, oh so clever.
Blue Ivy is still a baby in this picture. You won’t see her as a baby much longer.
This is quite disturbing, but I did what I had to do ok.
While Blue sleeps, her parents get to work on a spare.
I know. So gross. But it’s not like she’ll remember.
Robot Bear: But I will.
It isn’t until… look at Peaches’ butt. It’s like… it’s a good butt, I have to say.
Anyway, so Keith works in the Culinary career and finally got a promotion. I give Blue Ivy a room of her own so she isn’t further traumatized.
Robot Bear: I have seen some things…
The bear is a lost cause, sorry.
I don’t have enough money to give them a better bathroom, unfortunately, and being that this sink is the only sink and therefore all dishes are washed in it, this is a heavy traffic area.
Keith: Hey, eaches.
Peaches Honeyblossom: You forgot the P.
Keith: No I didn’t *gestures at toilet*
Keith’s dumb dad joke made Peaches physically ill.
Only that. Nothing else. Not a thing.
Keith is good for some things, like honoring his wife in pancake form.
And getting promotions so we can continue to upgrade our house because I don’t have a good enough attention span to make Peaches do Investigator stuff every day.
Look, we have a couch now! And a better bed!
Oh! Look! Peaches wasn’t sick from Keith’s joke, guys, she was pregnant! I fooled you! So gullible.
And now it’s Snowflake Day, and what better way to celebrate than to tuck the bed away in the family inventory and invite practical strangers over to give us gifts!
7 is the first to arrive. That better be something we need, 7, or at least something worth $$$$$$ so we can sell it.
7 gives no fucks and immediately takes down our guard snowman.
7: Take THIS. *farts on*
Snowman: *is 700% dead now*
RIP Snowman. First death in the new legacy. Let’s remember him, shall we?
Winter Day 2 – Winter Day 4
He was a good guardian of the crappy house
Now that that’s over, let’s get back to the party.
7: Ooh, she didn’t even need to bring a present because dat backside is a gift.
Keith: Er, so anyway. Why did the can crusher quit his job?
Xocop: Is that a real job?
Keith: Because it was soda pressing!
Xocop: You are lucky to have found a spouse.
Xocop: This one will be aging up today.
Wow, way to spoil the surprise, X
Not like it was that much of a surprise considering that’s really all she can do.
I attempted to shove the birthday party into the gift giving party, but everyone had to leave. Oh well. TIME FOR BLUE IVY TO AGE UP. WHAT WILL SHE LOOK LIKE?
Like this. She’ll look like this. Was that anti-climactic? Whoops.
So… interestingly enough, Jermajesty ALSO had this brownish hair. I suppose they got it from Hermione. Woo, throwback genetics. She also has the grey-blue eyes of her mama, but it looks like she’ll end up looking mostly like Keith.
Blue Ivy: You’re putting way too many expectations on me at an early age.
Okay, we’ll leave her alone for now. In the meantime,
Let’s take a cheesy holiday photo! Yessssssss.
So, excluding the bed, these are the gifts we got from the party. Keith also received a laptop, which is in his inventoy. Peaches was the recipient of the 3 chess tables – I imagine because no one else knows what to get a genius.
I sell two of the chess tables and UPDATE THE HOUSE.
We now have a LIVING AREA. Oooooh, aaaaah.
And Peaches and Keith have their own BEDROOM. YESSSSSSS.
But that’s not all!
For the first time ever as far as I can remember…
The Creeper children will have a HIGH CHAIR. WHAT?
A HIGH CHAIR?
That’s some classy shit.
I mean, sure, I could’ve bought one before, but why waste time giving a child proper seating and a table to eat from when you can just feed them on the floor?
I’m gonna try, friends. This is a new beginning.
And what’s this? The nursery got wallpaper that isn’t brick, that actually costs money to use! Daaaaaamn Daniel. It no longer looks like a dungeon in here.
Day 2 of sitting Blue Ivy in the high chair to eat. Wow, I think I’m finally getting good at this game.
And look, another child is coming! One that will also probably be put in the high chair at some point!
Peaches Honeyblossom: Can we go to the hospital yet?
Keith: Well, I was going to take you, but then I started trying to figure out what your butt says!
Peaches Honeyblossom: Pretty sure it’s saying ‘get me to the damn hospital’ right now.
We didn’t have the room for another crib just yet, so the new baby gets a baby swing! The magical baby swing that likes to keep their motives full (unintentionally maybe?)!
Meet Zolten Creeper. He likes hot pink and is also Clumsy and a Couch Potato (which is good since he’ll be a swinging potato for the first few days of his life).
The real life Zolten is actually the sibling of Moxie CrimeFighter. Their dad is Penn Jillette, an illusionist, because of course a magician would give their son a wizard sounding name.
The next day, it’s time for Keith to turn into… an elder.
Peaches Honeyblossom: I’m so excited for you…
Keith: Don’t patronize me.
Peaches Honeyblossom: Not gonna lie, I was holding my breath. But I’d still hit that, so we’re good.
It’s Peaches’ turn next anyway. I don’t know why I bothered getting her a cake since she’s just becoming an adult.
Peaches Honeyblossom: It’s still a milestone so I’m gonna eat the shit out of this massive slice.
Spring is finally here! The snow is melting, and with it those two snowmen as well.
Chad: Yo, you gonna die in about 5 hours.
Snowman: *cries softly*
I have Twallan’s SP set to only give me notifications about blood relatives and I’ve watched 7 go through 2 relationships so far. He needs to spawn kids for my heart, so I made a plan:
During Zolten’s birthday party, I will force Xocop to hit on 7 and they will fall in love and have all the babies.
It was perfect. So I had Peaches dare X to kiss 7, which is way weirder now that I type it than I thought when it happened.
Peaches Honeyblossom: You know what would be hilarious? If you just… just go make out with my brother! HEH HEH.
But X, being a prude probably, wasn’t having it.
Xocop: No, I don’t want anything to do with a man who will torture a frozen entity with flatulence.
Uuuugh but she doesn’t realize how perfect they would be!
I could cheat and force it, but I refuse. Instead, I continue on with the party.
The head piece woman is actually Peaches’ closest friend but I have no idea what her name is. Whoops.
Anyway, birthday, yay! I want you to watch this transformation as if Zolten is a butterfly emerging from his cocoon.
First, the outer layer begins to crack… Slowly, Zolten’s cocoon is shed away.
Oh dear wtf is that? What is it?! It’s slimy and not a thing of beauty like it promised to be!
But you have to give it time. Time for its body to dry, its wings to spread, the stylist to be used…
Then you see it: the most beautiful, delicate creature in existence. Is it an instant favorite to you? No, you can’t admit that. It is just as beautiful as the other butterfly, the Blue one. It’s not already heir in your head.
What are you doing over there by the trash can, Zolten? You’re not garbage, you’re amazing. Come out from over there, silly.
What are you doing in the toy box, Zolten? You’re not a toy! Silly Zolten.
Blue Ivy: I’m cute too, right? I’m silly too! Look at these blocks I expertly placed through these shape holes!
Sure, yeah, you’re okay too.
But oh! It looks like there’s going to be a third contender for heirship, although idk why I even set this up because we have a clear winner.
I mean, you’re going to get to vote. Sure. It won’t be rigged.
JK anything can happen, but it won’t be happening now because this is the end of the chapter! Woo! Thanks for reading!