Chapter Four: The One With Four Weddings

Although she has no friends because she’s so far spent her entire young adult life trying to please a man (which is a major step back in the women’s movement but what can you do), Peaches rolls the wish to have a bachelorette party. I invite the sims I believe she’s had actual interactions with and hope for the best.

Oddly enough, Dayna isn’t even on the list of sims we could invite. Figures.

Surprisingly, sims actually show up.

Xocop: Why wouldn’t I show up? I watched her sleep. We have a bond.

I threw the party in an arcade/bowling alley because every bachelorette party should include playing with big balls and joysticks.

Xocop quickly became our favorite guest, so we showed our appreciation the only way we knew how, which was to spray her with fizzy nectar.

Xocop: Sim customs are my favorite customs!

I’m guessing the stripper sensed the dangers of dancing for a group of nectar-filled women and used the counter as a barrier for protection.

Xocop: His movements are awakening my innermost desires. I now understand sim humanity on a very different level.

I ship it. And also, can I just say that I am tempted to grab Xocop and start a legacy with her?

I’ll try finishing this one first, considering, you know, like seven years have passed.

The camera decided to make the plates of food invisible, but I swear they’re eating and not just staring at each other.

Stripper: She’s lying. We’re definitely staring. I like the way your skin matches my camo, girl.

Xocop: Oh my…

I think we’ve corrupted her.

The night ends like any bachelorette party should: the bride-to-be is passed out on the floor in different clothes than when the night started and an alien is drinking in her honor.

The next day is the first day of Fall as well as Peaches’ wedding day. FINALLY. She wakes up cheerful for the first time ever despite the heavy downpour and sleeping on a rain-soaked bed.

Peaches Honeyblossom: Also, Dayna didn’t show up today!

Hallelujah!

We set the wedding up at the classiest place I could think of: the Super 8 motel which comes with Storybrook County. It’s got everything we could ask for in a wedding venue: free food and a space on the lawn for the arch. What else do you need?

We also use the rest of the money from selling the time portal to purchase a night in the luxury suite. Aw yiss, what a great honeymoon that’ll be.

We invite the same guests from the bachelorette party, as well as a few others, and wait. It’s all finally happening! Look how thrilled Peaches is. It’s like she knows what’s going to happen next.

Three hours into the party and there’s no sign of Keith. It starts to get really awkward as all the guests just kind of stare at Peaches.

Peaches Honeyblossom: Getting real tired of his shit already.

He finally shows up with that typical Keith look on his face, wearing his friggin’ furry outfit and Steve Jobs shoes.

Keith: Hey gurl.

Keith: Wait, what’s wrong? You look mad. Are you mad at me?

Peaches Honeyblossom: I’ve murdered you 17 times in my head in the past 30 seconds, you might want to back up.

Keith: I’m so sorry. I got caught up with work. I made it here as soon as I could, though. That counts, right? Our guests are still here. Let’s get married.

Peaches Honeyblossom: Fine. I’ll just talk to the manager really quickly and let her know it’s on.

Peaches Honeyblossom: Hi, yes, sorry, the wedding is on. We’re going to go ahead and–

Manager: Uh, hun, I think your groom is leaving.

We weren’t going to take this lying down, but we, uh… well, we had to. Because Peaches was exhausted. She passed out outside of the simbot shop as she marched over to confront Keith.

When she wakes up and goes inside, she finds that Keith NO LONGER WORKS THERE WTF.

New Guy: Sup.

ihdoifdoiwejfoiewjfowefjw

Peaches sleeps in the luxury suite anyway because she deserves it gdi.

Peaches Honeyblossom: I’ll party on my own, whatever zzzzzz

The next morning I check out what Keith’s job is. He’s a Photographer now, so my thoughts are that maybe we can get them married early, before he starts work or something. So we plan another wedding party, this time for 9am.

Keith: Hey gurl. Again.

This time things look promising. I mean, the groom is here before the guests! This is good!

But he leaves. Again. Almost immediately. And so we’re stuck in front of all these guests again, wearing the same dress and waiting for the same man. So much secondhand embarrassment going on.

At this point I use MasterController to try and find Keith, but apparently he is out of town. Since when does that happen?! I use MC again to make him quit his job because idgaf THIS IS MORE IMPORTANT.

While I’m doing that, I kid you not, an actual wedding takes place outside of the Super 8. I didn’t even know the game would DO this on its own, but of course NOW it shows me because it’s mocking me. LAUGH IT UP, GAME. I WILL NOT GIVE UP.

Meanwhile, inside, everyone has gotten hungry. Thank goodness for the buffet tables because otherwise I imagine since things are going this badly everyone would’ve started eating each other.

Peaches Honeyblossom is once again calculating all the ways she’s going to murder Keith.

Aww look at the beautiful wedding aww

So yeah I made Keith quit his job as a Photographer but when I checked him again GUESS WHAT.

NO. REALLY. GUESS.

Yeah. He’d somehow magically IMMEDIATELY gotten a job as a Mixologist. At least this time he was actually in town.

I send Peaches over, thinking you know what? Screw it. We don’t need a wedding. I’ll just have them get married at this bar tonight and get it over with.

But guess what? We can only interact with Keith as a bartender right now.

I check the bar hours to see when he’ll be off. 10am – 3am, meaning we’ll have a short window between 7am and 9am to get them hitched.

I swear to you, I have never ragequit the game before. Not until now.

Okay. Let’s try again, shall we?

I load the game again two days later with a happier attitude, but it looks as if Peaches has not yet forgotten. Luckily, I have a way to remedy that.

When in doubt, ride it out.

We don’t need no man. Just this bull.

Once we’re feeling a little better, we send Peaches to bed. Sure, it’s still light out, but this poor girl deserves some rest after everything.

The next morning, we stake out the buffet line at the motel, because we should be doing something to make money. We are just going to focus on our career for now. We don’t HAVE to get married, right?

Oh shit, Peaches, he has a new job in the Culinary career. He’s not at work now, HURRY GO.

Peaches has seriously been traumatized from the past two days. She can’t even look at the wedding arch without getting crushing anxiety. BUT NO WORRIES. We will fix that. Today.

Peaches Honeyblossom: I swear to Starla, if you are not Keith Creeper by the end of today, I will end you. Ya feel me?

That goes for me too, bub.

*takes a deep breath*

And so, on our fourth attempt (I had a third try and just didn’t even bother to screenshot it because I was so mad), Peaches and Keith are finally married. On Spooky Day, no less.

The only guests in attendance are mainly motel employees, but aww look 7 is here. And some frozen guy.

Woman in Front: I can’t believe I’m wearing the same headpiece as someone else, how embarrassing *creys*

Peaches looks so happy finally. Thank goodness. I’m exhausted. This is exhausting.

Peaches Honeyblossom: I can’t feel my face.

Keith: But you love it?

Fffffffuuuuu yessssssssss! Finally, the legacy is happening. Have I been saying this every chapter? Yes, probably, because this entire restart has been HELL.

And, guys, the hell isn’t over. Not yet, anyway.

I check them back into the luxury suite for their honeymoon. They’re finally married. Their relationship bar is as full as ever, and both of them are extremely happy. I give them a non-Try for Baby woohoo, just to give them time to enjoy their marriage.

But Peaches is not having it.

Peaches, if this is some revenge plot, if you’re holding a grudge… I swear, you’re only punishing me. Please, JUST DO IT.

Peaches Honeyblossom: NO. I refuse.

*headdesk*

I can’t do this. IT SHOULDN’T BE THIS HARD.

Okay, let’s uh… focus on other things then.

Keith couldn’t be a doll and bring in a shitload of money, so I built what I could with what they had. Everyone, meet the first piece of the new Creeper legacy household. Gone are the days of being watched in her sleep.

The inside is so simple. It’s like the outside, but with walls and furnishings.

I gave Keith a makeover based on his traits and favorite color, as I do. He likes red. His traits are Good Sense of Humor, Green Thumb, Loner, Lucky, and Nurturing. When I think of those traits together, I think of a total dad, so I gave him dad clothes.

Alsoheisgoingtobeanelderin9dayswhoops

So I started thinking (and I shouldn’t ever think, I guess) that maybe the reason Peaches wouldn’t woohoo Keith is because they were in a strange motel room. I brought them to their new home to see if anything would be different, maybe she would be more comfortable? Maybe?

Nope. Still nothing.

I can’t tell is Keith is hurt or just really sad for his man parts. And it looks like Peaches is giving his man parts a death glare. Poor man parts.

*checks both of their gender preferences* Okay well everything’s looking straight there (pun intended huehueheueh). I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S WRONG.

Whatever.

So we decide to just focus on work again. Work meaning digging through someone’s garbage while a pair of twins plot your demise.

Twin 1: On the count of three, push her in. And make sure you actually finish the job this time, Carl.

Twin 2: Last time was your fault for not clarifying whether I go on 3 or after 3.

Twin 2: Crap, she’s about to look. Act natural. Poop your pants.

When she gets home, Peaches seems to be in a better mood.

Peaches Honeyblossom: I saw the cutest pair of twins today.

Keith: In the mirror when you showered? (I’m talking about your boobs, not babies)

That did it. Lame jokes work. Omg FINALLY. AGAIN. IDOAJDIJWAW. THIS IS TORTURE.

Afterwards, they seem to finally have settled into wedded bliss. Keith makes Peaches breakfast in bed, mainly because they don’t have a table. Or chairs. Or a couch.

They hit the gym to shower because they don’t currently have one. The couple that showers together stays together, I’m pretty sure.

They decide to work out for a bit also. Things finally seem to be feeling normal.

Look, even a rainbow decided to show up. Does this mean good things are in the future? That the hard parts are behind me now? Does this mean smooth sailing from now on?

I certainly hope so.

Thank you for reading! Happy simming!

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7 thoughts on “Chapter Four: The One With Four Weddings

  1. Oh man, that is so frustrating! And reminds me of when I was trying to get my gen 7 couple for one of my games married off. They kept being interrupted by family members wanting their autographs, and they ended up eloping in France.

    But finally! Marriage and babies! Things are looking good for the Creepers. Will you be continuing the same naming theme?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh gosh that sounds terrible D:

      Yep, same naming theme! I’m hoping I don’t run out of names, but luckily celebrities are wackos so the odds are in my favor. Thank you for reading!

      Like

  2. Lol ! I know how exhausting it can be to hunt down the groom OR bride to actually get married before someone dies of old age. Ragequitting, cerebral haemorrhage and some hard crying. Thanks for the chapter!

    Liked by 2 people

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