Chapter Forty-Nine: Crypt Creepers

Hermione: zzzzz… feel like I’m under a microscope or something …zzzzz

Ron: Good thing I blend in with the wall.

Um. You kind of don’t. Close, though.

Ron: Oh, Hermione. I’ve always loved watching you sleep.

It’s too bad I did the affair thing last generation. Ron’s a perfect creeper.

Light bulb: *is being born*

Hermione: zzzzz… light bulbs are funny …zzzzz

Sage Moonblood: zzzzz… there’s someone in our house taking pictures of you sleeping and you’re dreaming of light bulbs? i thought i was the dumb one in our relationship …zzzzz

Being pregnant delayed Hermione’s birthday a few days. She was on the verge of adulthood the whole time, so now that she’s not knocked up she can finally get older.

She looks like she’s relieving herself.

Hermione: It may look wrong, but it feels soooo gooooood.

Sage Moonblood: It looks even worse from back here.

Sage Moonblood: Oh… my…

Hermione: What?

Sage Moonblood: Nothing, nothing! You’re just so um… HOT right now, I almost want to throw up a little. It’s THAT serious.

Her forehead is eating her hair D:

Hermione’s Forehead: I gotta eat too you know. Give me a break.

Hermione: Look, all fixed :D

Sage Moonblood: Good. Now we can be friends again.

I love that hair on her.

I think I forgot to mention that Hermione wants to be Leader of the Free World. She’s at level 4 of the Political career so far.

But when she’s not working or taking care of kids with Sage, she’s taken up painting. I’m still trying to decide on a hobby for Sage (besides getting drunk and dancing) because I’ve found that the house is really boring right now :/ Generations is taking too long to come out. And obviously it’s making me insane.

Don’t judge me.

Moxie CrimeFighter: How’s THIS for boring?

What’s wrong with you, Moxie? Hungry?

Moxie CrimeFighter: Not exactly. All I remember is I was a vampire for about three minutes and then suddenly I…

*dramatic choking sounds*

Oh quit playing around.

Moxie CrimeFighter: Long live the Creepeeeeeeeers!

*dusts*

Nooooo! Damnit, Slayer!Andie. I stopped inviting Moon Unit to parties because of stuff like this. Am I gonna have to move you out of town or something?

And not a single fuck was given that day.

Nice, Grim.

In case you’re wondering, when Moxie and her internet husband Blair weren’t arguing…

They did manage to have a son, Broderick. I don’t have a picture of him yet.

And it didn’t take Blair long to move on, so there you go. Stuff works out. RIP Moxie CrimeFighter :(

And speaking of working out, Hermione’s working out some things of her own.

Hermione: Blargarghrargyargh!

It’s been a while since we’ve seen a morning sickness shot, hasn’t it?

Hermione: This isn’t morning sickness. You forced me to eat a spoiled grilled cheese sandwich so you could pretend I have morning sickness.

Just give it away, Hermione! You’re fired from being my favorite spouse.

Sage Moonblood: Nope, I’m the pregnant one this time.

Someone asked why Hermione was always the one pregnant. It’s because Sage is an alcoholic.

Not really though. I mean she is, but it’s not real life so it’s okay. I’m using twallan’s woohooer mod and it is coded so that whoever initiates the woohoo is the one who gets pregnant. It was their idea, after all.

In other words, Hermione is the main horn dog.

Baby: Hey, look, my first screenshot! Goo!

Anyway.

I sent Hermione out to get fresh air (because she hasn’t had any since the wedding) and this strange family was just…

Sitting there like zombies. Look at that! Who DOES that besides zombies? They aren’t even talking. They’re like… communicating in their minds and crap. I wonder what they’re talking about.

Mom: (Should we eat at the Bistro later, family?)

Blonde Twins: (Yes! We love the Bistro! And eating braaaaaains.)

Dad: (That’s my boys!)

*shudders*

Kurt: WHUDDUP CREEPUHS! What’s goin’ aaaaaaawn?

Sage Moonblood: Um. A birthday.

Kurt: Excelleeeeeeeeent!

Kurt: ROCKETSHIP FREAK OUT TIME WAAAAAAH!

Sage Moonblood: Okay, just so we’re clear, if my kids act like this, I am giving them away.

Toddler: Seriously? Are you never going to introduce me? What did I do to deserve this?

Aw, nothing. Okay, I guess it’s time.

This is Peaches Honeyblossom. She is a neurotic genius.

The original Peaches Honeyblossom is the daughter of Bob Geldof and Paula Yates, and the sister of the original Fifi Trixibelle.

Peaches Honeyblossom: This play room has been redecorated before. Continuity errors much?

Hush, or you’ll go back to not existing.

Lord Voldemort: Aaaah, another paaaaarty hosted by Saaaaage. What evil things will ensue this time?

Not much apparently. Just a sexy dance.

Lord Voldemort: When I was a boy, an orphan boy, I’d love to move my feet. I’d hear a tune and start to swoon, my life would seem complete.

Sage Moonblood: I feel like I completely understand your evil ways now.

Lord Voldemort: That makes one of us.

Finn: Are you a pedophile, Voldy?

Finn! How dare you!

Finn: What? I might be.

Dweezil and Kristina’s kids are just little freaks.  I’m sorry I ever let them have them.

Tabooger: Hey, newbie, move. I gotta go. Unlike SOME people around here, I’m potty trained and don’t enjoy soiling myself on a regular basis.

You’re talking about your mom, right?

Peaches Honeyblossom: *ignores*

Tabooger: It’s gonna be like that, huh? Alright then. TABOOGER IMPALE!

Peaches Honeyblossom: *chokes*

Tabooger: You only have yourself to blame for this, you know.

Peaches Honeyblossom: Actually, that was pretty awesome. We should do it again!

Tabooger: You’ve gotta be kidding me. THIS is the sibling I get?

Peaches Honeyblossom: Mmmhmm, best sibling ever no doubt.

Tabooger: *sigh*

I called this chapter Crypt Creepers for a reason. It’s because there are Creepers dying all over town! First, of course, Moxie gets slayed. Next Charmaine, Bluebell’s daughter and spouse of Everly Bear’s son, MURDERS Misty, a descendant of Justice.

And then Gerard beats Moon Unit up, the bastard.

She doesn’t survive and joins everyone else in the Creeper graveyard.

I’m not gonna lie. I’m kind of glad she’s finally gone. But I didn’t want her BEAT TO DEATH D:

And while I’m talking about the graveyard (since the topic almost never comes up) I thought I’d let you see how FULL it’s getting.

Of course you’ll remember our founder’s area.

Then the heirs, before Moon Unit was added. For some reason my gravestones changed during the last move. I used to have a lot more big pretty ones, damnit. I worked hard for those!

…Pahaha.

In another corner are spares, spares, and more spares. The big ones down the line are Audio and Marlene. The burnt looking one is Moxie.

And then we have children, children’s children and children’s children’s children of spares.

I just made the word ‘children’ look funny to myself.

I put the graveyard over a former junk yard, so now we get random furniture dumped around all the time. Honestly, I think it’s fitting XD

And as if all the deaths and violence weren’t enough, Reignbeau and Tu Morrow are fighting over the damn cassanova, of all things.

I imagine they’ll be bitter spinsters, having tea with their cats and watching old Humphrey Bogart movies with a tub of ice cream and a dream of what could-have-been.

Or whatever. That’s depressing.

Sage was right, Tabooger is the most badass kid ever. She’s already learned all her skills, so she just walks around like a bawss.

Tabooger: Feelin’ fly like it’s Quidditch.

Tabooger: Hey, Chadwick. Anything goin’ down tonight?

Chadwick: Nah, just staring at these bushes, ‘Boog.

Tabooger: Nice. I’ll catch you later.

Tabooger: I’m home, mamas! Where’s my bottle?

Tabooger: I want that cake.

Yeah, you know, if these were real kids, those pieces of cake would’ve been annihilated by now. I did try clicking on it just to see, but no cake.

Tabooger: Dangiiiiit.

Ever since the potty incident, the girls have been playing nicely.

Peaches Honeyblossom: We’re each pretending the other one doesn’t exist.

I guess that works too. Not that you can interact anyway.

Suspicious Sage is suspicious.

Sage Moonblood: Why are you two so quiet and well behaved? Are you sure you’re my children?

Hermione: Hun, quit trying to corrupt the kids.

Sage Moonblood: I just don’t get it. Smack a toy around or something.

Sage Moonblood: Yaaaay, my bar hasn’t burned down yet :D

Sage Moonblood: Come on, baby, let’s boogie you out of there!

White T-shirt Guy: Don’t worry, I’m a doctor. I’ll catch it as it slides across the dance floor.

I heard that’s how Lady Gaga was born.

Thankfully, the kid waited until the next morning to want out.

Sage Moonblood: No booze in the world could get rid of this paaaain!

Girls: *halo*

Aaaaand twins. Natural ones I guess? Don’t be too excited, you two.

Hermione: I think it’s safe to say we’re done having children.

Sage Moonblood: Agreed. I need a drink.

I stole Mariah’s idea for changing the baby blanket colors. These are their favorite colors, yay.

I’m going to end it here for a few reasons. 1) To be mean. 2) Because I can’t remember what I named the twins. 3) Because I’ve become insanely disorganized and need to get things back in order. 4) Because I’m toying around with my mods to make my game smoother and if I played the Creeper save file right now it would implode. 5) I have too many excuses.

Next time: The twins will get a proper introduction! The new generation will grow up! I won’t think I have special early EP getting abilities! I will make more sense and maybe even have less Harry Potter references (note: this is doubtful, I have issues)! Thank you for reading! <3

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23 thoughts on “Chapter Forty-Nine: Crypt Creepers

  1. “Sage Moonblood: Come on, baby, let’s boogie you out of there!

    White T-shirt Guy: Don’t worry, I’m a doctor. I’ll catch it as it slides across the dance floor.

    I heard that’s how Lady Gaga was born.”

    I WISH THIS HAD HAPPENED, lol. That was one of the most awesome things I’ve read XD You may be bored with the game, but it doesn’t show here ^_^ Another great chapter!

    On that note…I can’t wait until Generations comes out either!!

    Like

    • Haha ME TOO. Thank you so much, I’m glad to know it’s still a little entertaining despite my somewhat lack of enthusiasm.

      :D

      Like

  2. I love all the HP references, so please don’t use less of them.
    Tabooger = win. That kid is super awesome. I think I love her as much as Sage.
    Oh and EAs choice for Hermione’s hair = fail. I’m glad you changed it back.
    Also, it’s too bad Ron’s not a Creeper, because he’d fit right in.

    Like

  3. NO! Moxie! And MOON UNIT! Why must they go so soon?! Ok, maybe not Moon Unit, but Moxie is too soon!

    I can’t wait to see what you do with Generations! You must have pre-ordered yours. I want to get Generations too…

    Like

  4. AAH twins and we don’t get to see them……. cruelty I say! xD

    I LOVE your Voldemort sim. Just going to throw that out there. He is the coolest ever!

    The references… don’t use less of them! They are my favorites :3 Harry Potter FTW!

    Very sad about all the deaths though… They were so violent xP It was pretty awesome to see your cemetery though! That’s fairly epic.

    Tabooger just walks around? How awesome! I like her :3

    Like

  5. NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    NOT MOXIE! I VOTED FOR HER TO BE HEIR! HOW DARE ANDIE KILL HER OWN DAUGHTER, THAT EVIL *****? I WILL GET MY REVENGE. R.I.P Moxie CrimeFighter. She never fought crime. *cries for ages and ages and admits it becoz I am sad*.

    Only joking Andie, but I might just get my revenge if you kill DWEEZIL! OR TU! OR VOLDEMORT!

    Like

  6. Nuuuuu, not Moon Unit D:

    PAHAHAHAH at how Lazy Gaga was born and Sage’s kid corrupting :DD

    Honestly, one day I’m going to just up and contemplate my kids’ good behaviour :DD

    Btw, has my simself been up tp anything interesting?

    Like

  7. Bwaaaahahaha @ the Lady Gaga story. I laughed.
    “I just made the word ‘children’ look funny to myself.” I thought I was the only one that happened to!
    So much Creeper death in this update…violence! D: Can’t wait to meet the twins though!

    Like

  8. seriously loling at the lady gaga birth story. i’m with everyone else, i’m loving the harry potter references in this generation. the creepers have always been amazing, but having voldie make appearances (and dancing at sage’s party) is pretty epic. :D

    honestly, i’ll love anything you write :)

    Like

  9. I’m sure Kurt’s just freaking out about rocket ships because he wants one to go to Pigfarts.

    Lol, the Voldemort AVPM quote was epic. I’m still loling.

    Too bad about Moon. She was my 3rd favourite Creeper, right after Pilot and Sage.

    Oh, and Hermione’s forehead eating hair totally looked like Emma watsons new hairstyle :D

    Great chapter as always! Can’t wait to see the twins!

    Like

  10. Oh, and one thing more thing. Well, two. One OMG I FORGOT TO SAY R.I.P MOON UNIT! She was like, the best at killing people, even better than GRIM! And two. Don’ stop the HP stuff. It makes the Creepers creepers. Sage has been Draco Malfoy (DRACO MALFOY DAMNIT) since she was a toddler. You can’t stop now!

    Like

  11. Hermione can’t learn the painting skill! DO YOU KNOW WHY?

    Cause Hermione can’t draw! Hermione can’t draw!
    She only reads books, but she cannot draw!
    Even if she’s reading a how to draw book!

    I seriously can’t believe I’m the only person making this joke. ._.

    Like

  12. Um.

    I’m pretty sure I missed this chapter altogether.

    Which is a tragedy because I was laughing hystertically through the whole thing.

    WHY DO I FAIL SO HARD?

    Anyway *goes back to missing you* :3

    Like

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