Pilot Inspektor: There’s something STUPID going on here and I want it to stop RIGHT NOW.
Dolphin: Yeah, don’t make us riot! ‘Cause we totally will!
Pilot Inspektor: TOTALLY.
Hullo! Last time, Tenisha gave birth to Audio’s son Leroy, then asked him if he would be telling his wife about it, because she would if he didn’t. Oh no she di-in’t! Baby mama drama, yo. Not cool.
Tenisha: So you’ve got this, right? I’m tired. Don’t let the door hit you two in the… Oh who am I kidding, I don’t care. Let it hit you wherever.
Audio Science: Umwut.
Tenisha: You’ve got 30 minutes to leave the premises or I’m calling the cops.
Audio Science: So I take it you don’t have a… crib…? Yeah… um… Leaving then.
Audio Science: Hush, son, you’ll wake up my wife! Argh, what the hell am I going to do?! I have nowhere to stash this!
Too bad there’s no Pets-like EP. You could feed it to the dog or something LOL.
Audio Science: You are cruel and wrong and I feel sorry for your children!
What? You’re the friggin’ one talking about stashing your baby someplace. I’m just trying to help you out!
Audio Science: Well I don’t need your help! I have an idea.
A few hours later.
Marlene: I found this random baby under the bed.
Pilot Inspektor: Excuse me! I wanted to handle the random baby. Give it here!
Marlene: Unglitch your arm from my side this instant, freak!
Marlene: Hey Audio, do you have any idea where this baby came from? It was in our bedroom, underneath my side of the bed.
Oh god, please tell me he’s not going to try and convince her she must’ve given birth to it in her sleep.
Audio Science: Oh yeah! I put the baby under the bed. It was a surprise for you, because I know how babies make you happy.
Omg you are so lame. A surprise because babies make her happy? She’ll never go for that.
Marlene: Oh, that is the sweetest thing that’s ever been done to anyone in the history of sweet things! You did that just for me?
Audio Science: Of course, my love. I’d do anything for you.
Marlene: But wait, how did you procure this child for me? You didn’t steal it from the hospital, did you?
Audio Science: No, actually there was this… sad, really sad, ugly woman. She was… homeless. And dirty. She smelled of feet and cabbage. She looked at me, teary eyed and fragile, and she said to me, “Please, I know you have a good family. Take my son Leroy and raise him well. I know you can.”
Oh my… no words.
Marlene: *gasp* So touching! Oh, to know that we’ve saved this little boy’s life from his homeless, smelly, ugly mother makes me feel so warm on the inside.
Seriously? Is this really happening?
Audio Science: I know, babe. We’ve done a good thing here :)
You are going to die a horrible death, Audio Science Creeper.
Audio Science decides to use his next work day to figure out what Tenisha’s freaking problem is.
Audio Science: I’m sure she was just hormonal from giving birth is all.
Yeah that’s it. It’s not because she’s a skank or anything.
Tenisha: You’d better not be here for woohoo, ’cause I’m closed for business.
LOL yeah right.
Audio Science: What’s going on with you, Tenisha? You’re the mother of my child. He needs you. I need you.
Tenisha: That’s really pathetic, Audio. Now leave me alone.
Audio Science: No. This isn’t right and we’re going to figure this out. Plus, you’re making waffles. I love waffles. Gimme.
Tenisha: You’re really starting to piss me off, you know that? Just go sit at the damn table.
Audio Science: So what’s up?
Tenisha: Eat your waffles and get out of my house, that’s what’s up. I don’t want anything to do with you or the kid, and nothing you do or say is going to change that.
Audio Science: I love you, Tenisha. And I know you love me. Look, we have a son together. We can work something out. It’s important. I don’t… I don’t want to lose you.
Tenisha: Lose me, Audio? You never had me. I don’t love you. I never have, and I never will. The sooner you let that sink in, the better.
Audio Science: I know you don’t mean that. The love we made–
Tenisha: Oh, please, don’t make me sick. We didn’t make love. I’m a single woman with needs that you barely fulfilled, then you stupidly knocked me up, as if I needed that to happen to me again.
Audio Science: Again? You’ve got another child?
Tenisha: Of course I do. With your cousin, actually. We were married for two long months.
Audio Science: I… never knew that.
Tenisha: See, you don’t even know me, much less love me. Now for the last time, Audio: Leave. Me. Alone.
Audio Science: This just won’t do. I can’t just sit here and let this happen. Ugh, I can’t even stomach these precious waffles. What a waste.
Audio Science: Regardless of how you feel about me, Tenisha, you’ve got a responsibility! That little boy didn’t ask to be here! The least you can do is care about him!
Tenisha: How dare you talk to me about responsibility! What about your kids, huh? And your wife? You’ve neglected all responsibility for them!
Audio Science: I only did that because of YOU. YOU took all my time and energy, and now it turns out you never cared about me or anything that happened between us! You’ll just go and have babies with anyone who hops into your damn happy cowboy bed, I guess.
Tenisha: Oh no, Audio. No, no one forced you to ignore your family to have an affair with me. You willingly and happily jumped into bed with me. And I’m not the only bad guy here! As soon as I even mentioned telling your wife about the baby, you panicked. You weren’t going to tell her about me, the baby, or anything. That’s not love. You didn’t love me either.
Audio Science: You caught me off guard, Tenisha. I did love you, I still do, but you didn’t even wait two minutes after having Leroy before you dropped a bomb on me. And now Marlene knows about the baby, so your argument is invalid. Because potato.
Audio Science: See?
Tenisha: She knows you had a baby with another woman and you’re still walking around to tell the tale?
Audio Science: Not exactly… But I–
Tenisha: But. Yes, the famous ‘but’. I’ll tell you what. You give me $300,000 and a free trip to the spa… and I won’t tell your wife the absolute truth about us.
Audio Science: I don’t… I can’t spend that kind of money. I’m only a spare…
Tenisha: Have it your way then. I guess I’ll be paying a visit to your pretty little wrinkled wife this afternoon.
Tenisha: You will keep your mouth SHUT and let me deal with my own family, Tenisha. Just back off now. We’re done.
Tenisha: Oh NOW you’re all for us ending things, aren’t you? Of course you are, you hypocritical piece of crap. Get the hell out of my house, Audio, and don’t come back. City Hall hands out restraining orders against Creepers like free candy.
Audio Science: Fine, I’m gone.
In case anyone was getting any compassion for Tenisha, just go ahead and take it back now XD
Sage Moonblood: Phew! Now that that’s over with…
What are you staring at all awe-stricken like that?
Sage Moonblood: No one. Leave me alone! Right-click on Everly Bear or something!
Oh my… is that who I think it is?!
Sage Moonblood: I don’t know what the bloody hell you’re talking about!
That’s Hermione Granger and you’re totally perving on her LOL.
Sage Moonblood: I’m… I’m going to tell my journal how mean you’re being to me!
I am totally NOT perving on Hermione Granger, whoever that is. I don’t care. Starla can kiss my a–
Lola Belle: Sage Moonblood, boooooooo! She’s the president of the Loser Club of Losers probably!
Lola: Write that in your little baby diary, LOSER! Who cares if you’re a vulnerable teen and what I say may permanently damage your self-esteem!
Hermione Granger: Hey! Lola! You’re in a moomoo. In public. Which, by the way, is tucked into your knickers in the back. And you’ve soiled yourself. I don’t think you’ve got room to talk.
I am totally NOT perving on Hermione Granger, whoever that is. I don’t care. Starla can kiss my a–
She… is the hottest girl I’ve ever seen. GRANGER DANGER, GRANGER DANGER!
Homework Status Bar: *ruins the journal writing illusion*
Starla: YOU SUCK, get off my property!
Sage Moonblood: It’s bad enough I have to take crap from you, but your simself too? Give me a break!
Starla: This hair makes my forehead look huge, where the heck is MasterController, boooooo!
Sage Moonblood: What kind of five star celebrity are you anyway? You’re a Stylist?
She’s studying for a… movie role. Shut up.
Inside, sim!Mariah was flirting with my simself’s new celebrity boyfriend, Gerard Way of My Chemical Romance. Don’t tell my husband XD
Mariah: Can’t prove it.
Gerard: I didn’t flirt back, I promise.
Mariah: What happened to your simself’s gigolo husband anyway?
Um, let’s just say he… Well, I deleted him. There, I said it.
Sage Moonblood: Your red hair is SWEET. Red is my favorite color, you know. I bet we have a lot in common, we should hang out sometime. I love chilling with celebrities, having star quality and all. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone as cool as you, unless you count Hermione, but that’s just a fluke so it doe–
Mariah: She… She just won’t shut up.
Gerard: BE NICE TO THE GIRL!
Mariah: Oh… what!
Sage Moonblood: Wow. Hot-headed trait much?
Mariah: Your terrible outbursts make you completely attractive <3
Sage Moonblood: Orly free will?
Gerard: Starla is right outside, I’m not going to flirt with you.
Sage Moonblood: She’s sooo gonna beat you up for this.
Mariah: Pfft, Starla loves me. She won’t care. Come oooon.
Gerard: No means no.
Sage Moonblood: Hey is that her now?
Starla: BOO SAGE I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE. I NOTICE NOTHING BUT YOUR AWFUL PRESENCE IN THIS ROOM.
Sage Moonblood: Hey, they’re… flirting… over here…. Aaaand you’re gone.
Sage Moonblood: Wow. She really… is a dumbass.
Mariah: Told you she wouldn’t care.
Starla: I feel as though I don’t know something that you do know, which means I should know it too because I’m you, kind of.
Whachu talkin’ ’bout?
Starla: I dunno, I’m going to bed.
That sounds like a good idea, actually. So here ends a somewhat short and Sage-filled part one! Part two will be coming tomorrow sometime! Will Tenisha tell Marlene the truth or will Marlene find out for herself? Will the other kids get some facetime? Will Mariah take Gerard away from my simself? We’ll see! Thank you for reading and happy simming! <3